The hell that is my mind

Anxiety is the owner here. we are fine.

There is no cure when it comes to crippling anxiety due to things like trauma and bi polar disorder.

There is only work, daily.

How the hell have I even made it this far?

work, daily.

I hate to be out in the real world because too much public contact freaks me out

and yet, I still have a mind on over drive, while I am home, not near crowds, just me and my mind, going insane…..

work, daily.

How do I stay alive everyday?

These flashbacks and toxic thoughts are enough to take me out daily, and some days they do.

and yet I continue to breathe.

How?

work, daily.

Every single day is a battle to stay alive.

I am not suicidal.

but my bi polar mind is always telling me to end it.

cheering for me to fail.

cheering for me to fall.

anxiety is the owner here, but i don’t recall ever being for sale, but we are fine.

it says

they do not like you

they do not want you talking to them

you are a burden

you should say sorry to your parents

you will ruin your children

you are failing in life

your business is a joke and will fail

everything and everyone is better off without you

How do i live through this suffocating internal negativity everyday?

work, daily.

it never stops

until i sleep

and once i wake

it all begins again

over

and

over

and

over

and….

 

Exhausted daily….. from battling my own mind. it never ends.

it never will

its so hard to live like this.

I do not want sympathy

just keep in mind that you never know what a person may deal with daily.

 

xx

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