This must be what it feels like when your soul is tired. I thought I had been there already but now I know that I am really there. It happened because there was a spark and a connection and reciprocation … Continue reading cathartic verbiage.
I am a hostage. I was diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder during a 36 day stay in rehab for drug addiction. That was over 10 years ago in 2009 and I will say that only now am I really learning … Continue reading A Hostage Situation.
I don’t know where to start but I do know that I avoid writing because I do not want to confront these real situations and feelings in my life. If you follow me on social media, you’ll see that I … Continue reading A shit show. Blo[g][po]etry.
Sadness fills my eyes and runs down my cheeks and pools beneath me in a bottomless void loneliness wraps its arms around me cold and empty my old friend broken pieces is what I feel like I have become mangled … Continue reading mood translated to words (I’m good)
I hate being on break currently- I am so bored I could die. My side job has been slow the last 2 weeks which I should be grateful for however, I am so bored! And maybe it would not be … Continue reading Avoidance and some fucking poetry
The thing about love, well there are many things, but some of the things are tough things. How do we learn to love others and love them well? Well that is the first tough part- we need to learn to … Continue reading love?…..w.t.f.?
We ended up being able to spend a long weekend in my hometown and it was nice and really so very necessary. But then here we are. Back at this place. This house. The house we may lose before I even get to sell, which would mean we walk with nothing after this total shit show. I am feeling hopeless today. I move forward 2 steps and then get pushed back 10 steps instantly. I am grateful but like, not prepared to live in my car with 2 kids and 3 cats. Obviously I would never let that happen. I … Continue reading I need to be here way more often…
here it is… I can finally speak freely without a single ounce of anxiety. I didn’t think I was going to make it another 6 months. He has always said he was going to kill me. I never realized how … Continue reading we survived. we are free.
Yesterday I was told (by a man) that women are stronger than men and can endure through way more than a man can and it is simply because women cry more. We cry more. I don’t know about other women but I cry A LOT. probably way more than a normal woman should. I cry when I am hurt I cry when I am sad I cry when I think about how I was basically cheated out of a life I cry when I think of death I cry when I think of losing the people that I love I … Continue reading Apparently tears don’t run out.
My heart is beating like its bleeding out… You’re sleeping like a baby…. Cardi’s new album is probably perfect for every situation. Staying strong everyday when all I want to do is give up is the hardest thing I … Continue reading so tired.
What do you do When you feel like you don’t belong Like a lost dog. And feel so trapped at the same time. Like trying to climb out from a hole that has no bottom, that you can’t seem to get out of. Clawing at the dirt… All while it keeps caving in on you…. Suffocating. This life is forcing me to use strength That I never knew I had There is no “call home” Whenever things get bad. There is no savior. Just me. Fighting this battle. Alone. After what I thought I knew Turned out … Continue reading in short. don’t give up. you can’t.
The struggle To survive Is so real When your mind is working against you daily. And all of the time. How do you live When you only think about dying? You simply survive. Every day of my life The thoughts don’t stop Especially lately Becoming unstable, then… Choosing my own demise… I was weak. However, I don’t recall being in the drivers seat Of my mind at that point in time… I don’t need to be under the influence to make bad decisions. My brain does that just fine on its own. But… “that’s … Continue reading Therapy.