I need to be here way more often…

We ended up being able to spend a long weekend in my hometown and it was nice and really so very necessary. But then here we are. Back at this place. This house. The house we may lose before I even get to sell, which would mean we walk with nothing after this total shit show. I am feeling hopeless today. I move forward 2 steps and then get pushed back 10 steps instantly. I am grateful but like, not prepared to live in my car with 2 kids and 3 cats. Obviously I would never let that happen. I … Continue reading I need to be here way more often…

this may be the night that my dreams might let me know….

So many things are going to change and I am not sure that I am ready. I am filled with sadness, right now. I feel so bad for him. After everything. I loved him no matter what. I feel like a fool. Full of dread. I just feel lonely and sad and confused and lost worthless And at the same time, feel like I am an unstoppable force capable of anything.   I feel defeated and discouraged And yet somehow remain hopeful And I have no idea where that is even coming from.   I feel betrayed and let down … Continue reading this may be the night that my dreams might let me know….